Allen Family: Parker the Author

He might have ripped off another story, but I love this boy's creative mind and the stories he writes!

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Since kids are the funniest things alive, I'm devoting my whole sidebar to "things that make me laugh" so that I can read them whenever I need a smile:)

June 26, 2011
Ryler comes up next to my bed & says "Hi mommy". I roll over and check the clock to make sure it is a decent hour(it is). So I get up & realize he isn't wearing any pants or a diaper. I ask him if he went to the bathroom & he says "ya...poop". I look in the toilet & sure enough, he had gone. I asked him how long he had been awake & he said, "Ummm...3 hours" haha

June 2011
We bought Matt a new electric razor for Father's Day & I was explaining to Parker that he gets to help me wrap it up and give it to daddy. He said, "Is this one going to work, because his hair always grows back and back and back." I laughed and told him this one will work really good.
Then when Matt actually opened the present on Father's Day, Parker just kept saying "It's not coming back! It's not coming back daddy"

June, 2011
Parker said, "We have too many boys in this family! When are we going to have a sister?"

May 8, 2011
Parker & I were "reading" a book. I would say a line & he would repeat it. I started one line & he finished it without me saying it(he's obviously heard it lots before). I said, "Wow Parker! How did you know that?" He said, "It is just cuz I'm so clever"

Jan. 17th, 2011
Parker has mentioned before that he thinks daddy is a KID, so I was trying to explain that he is actually adult;) I asked him, "Parker, is daddy a kid or an adult?" He hesitated & then said, "A Kid-Dult" I think that is the perfect explanation for someone who is an adult that acts like a kid!:)

Jan. 16, 2011
Parker asked"Was Ryler in mommy or daddy's tummy when he was a baby?" I replied, "Mommy's...only girls can have babies in their tummies" He got so excited and said, "Tali can have a baby!"(his cousin---he is really excited for her;)

Dec. 2010
I asked Parker how many kids we have in our family. He quickly replied "3!...Parker, Ryler & Daddy!" haha, I'm so glad he thinks daddy is a KID...it is pretty much true;)

Aug. 12, 2010
Ryler was crying so I asked, "Why are you so sad today Ryler?" Parker said, "He just misses his daddy so much"

August 2010
My brother Tate recently got home from his mission and teases Parker like crazy. We were in the car last week & Parker said, "Mom...do you love Tate?" I said, "Yes". He said, "WHY??". I laughed and said, "He is my brother, just like Ryler is your brother, so I love him very much.". He said, "Oh...I don't, I just love mommy"

March 30, 2010
Parker says, "We don't have any little girls...just one big girl in our family...you, mommy."

March 30, 2010
I put Parker in time out & he was crying. All the sudden I hear him saying, "I just want to be a happy family". So I go in his room & say, "Parker...we are a happy family, I just don't want you turning on the sprinklers & getting everyone wet". He said, "No we CAN'T be a happy family, because Daddy is not here...he is at work!"

March 29, 2010
If Parker takes a nap...he will stay up til midnight, so we did away with naps. Today he fell asleep on the couch & I let him sleep(mistake). He was WIRED as we were going to bed at 10:30pm. Finally Matt bribes him to stay in bed about 11pm, saying he will buy him a new flashlight toy that he wanted if he lays down by himself(he usually wants one of us to lay with him until he falls asleep). Matt comes to bed & we go to sleep. Matt said about midnight Parker quietly sneaks in & shakes his foot & says, "Daddy...I don't want a flashlight toy...I want you to lay in bed with me"(so sad...you know he REALLY wanted that toy to debate for 1 hour in bed before deciding he wanted his daddy more)

March 29, 2010
(maybe a little gross...but funny to us)
Parker went #2 in the toilet, which we are still making a big deal about because he is in the beginning stages of potty training! He looked in the toilet & said, "Look! A banana!" It made me laugh. So when Matt got home that night, I said, "Parker pooped a banana in the toilet today". Parker shook his head in agreement & said, "But we don't eat poop bananas...we eat yellow bananas."

January 2010
Parker calls Grandma Allen "Grandma Little One" & Grandma Brinton, "Grandma Big One" It makes me laugh every time, that he has named them according to height:)

January 19, 2010
I buckle the kids in their carseats & am pulling away from my parent's house after she watched the kids for me. I say, "Thanks for watching the kids mom!"
Parker says, "Huh? That's your MOM!?!"
I say, yes...that is MY MOMMY
He laughs like I am being ridiculous & says, "Thats NOT your mom! That is GRANDMA!"

January 2010
Today after preschool was over, I am in my bedroom & I hear Parker calling out, "Ms. Staci, where are you!?!...Ms. Staciiiiiii, wherrre AREEEE youuuu!?!" as he walks down the hall to find me.

1st day of class, I sit all the kids down in circle time & I say, "My name is Ms. Staci" & Parker says, "NO it's NOT" (points to me) & says, "Your name is Matt!" (as he starts cracking up)

Nov. 2nd, 2009
We were at Rob & Julie's for dinner & Parker was crying in the other room & saying "Mommmmmy!" I was in the middle of my dinner & said, "Why is it that when kids get hurt they want their moms?" Mason quickly replied, "Because Moms are the best! They ROCK!" haha. Thanks Mason, I will never complain again, but appreciate it when my kids are crying for me:)

Jan. 26th, 2009
Mason asked Grandma if he could have her house when she died. She said, Sure. So Mason replied, "Grandma, I hope you die soon!"

October 2008
Rob was taking Mason to school & Mason hopped in the front seat(sometimes his dad would let him sit up front on the way to school, because it was around the corner---but Julie makes Mason sit in the back). Rob said, "No...Mason, you have to get in the backseat." Mason replied, "Oh dad...why did the prophet have to tell the husbands to listen to their wives, in Conference this weekend?"

October 5, 2008
Mason has been vocal about the fact that he will be voting for Barack Obama in the upcoming Presidential Election. No matter what we really say, he is convinced he should be President. Just the other day at Heidi's v-ball game he said, "It will be a great tragedy if John McCain wins & Barack Obama loses" Well Mason has been on a "Mt St. Helens" kick...wanting to learn ALL ABOUT it, reading about it, watching movies about & and spouting facts to everyone about it. My sister Kylie mentioned to Mason lastnight that John McCain LOVES Mt. St. Helens:) After taking Mason home, his dad told us that he said something to this affect, "Dad...I hate to break the news to you...but I'm changing my vote." His dad asked Why & Mason said, "Because John McCain likes Mt. St Helens!"

October 5, 2008
Mason was asking his mom if he could spend the night at my house & she told him no & he said, "But MOM...lately I've been really getting into watching Conference in the mornings" (hoping to persuade her if she thought he was going to watch General Conference with us the next day...I had to laugh)

September 2008
Powell was kissing girls in his primary class, so his mom & dad talked to him about kissing & who he is allowed to kiss. They said that you can only kiss your mom & dad & Mia...
Powell replied, "AND Matt & Staci!"

August 10, 2008
Everyone was over at my parents for Sunday dinner & my sister-in-law Julie was getting her kids in the car to go home. My mom asked Mason, "Are you excited for your 1st day of SCHOOL tomorrow!?!" Mason replied, "Ohhhh....I'd rather eat an octopus right now!"

July 29, 2008
We found out we were having a BOY today & Mason called me on the phone to tell me that he had a present for Parker's brother & he said, "I think you should name your baby Washington, because I want him to be a President"

June 20th, 2008
We were swimming at my parents & Matt asked Mason how swim lessons are going(Mason is VERY afraid of the water) & then Matt asked if he was jumping in off the side of the pool yet? He said, "Well..not like normal people do" (He sits down on the side & slides into the water

June 6, 2008
Mason wanted to eat some icecream out of our freezer & I told him that it was Uncle Matt's icecream & he would whoop his rear if he ate it. I then asked him what color of Otter Pop he wanted...to which he responded, "I don't even have a career!" We asked him why that mattered? He said, "BECAUSE...you said Matt was gonna whoop my career!" Haha...clean out that earwax Mason!:)

May 31st, 2008
My brother Tate & my nephew Tanner were swimming & Tanner pointed at Tate's stomach & asked, "What's that fur for?"

March 2008

Mason asked his dad, "Did you know that we have 2 Fathers?"
Rob thought Mason might say him & Heavenly Father. Mason replied, "Heavenly Father & George Washington. Did you know some people call him the Father of the World." Rob corrected him on being the Father of the Country. So cute!

Mason was telling his dad what he wanted to do when he grew up. He started saying all these CRAZY jobs(lion tamer, etc) & then said...or I could work at Target.

February 6, 2008

I was at Rob & Julie's tonight & Mason was watching a movie & I told him that he was so lucky that he got to watch a movie on a school night. He said, "Stace...I get to watch movies 277 days a year"

I asked Mason how old he thought I was. He said, "16?" I said, "No...a little older" He replied, "17?" I said, "Ok...a lot older" He replied, "204?"

Dec. 22, 2007
Mason woke up & had lost his voice & went in to his mom & said, "Mom...I lost my lady opera voice"(as he rasied one hand over his head, opened his mouth wide to sing & nothing came out)

Friday, Dec. 14th, 2007
Heidi asked Powell who his favorite Aunt was(pointing to herself)...I interrupted, asking who is favorite Aunt was(pointing to myself). He said, "Red ones...black ones are mean"

Monday, Dec. 17, 2007
Parker does this CRAZY smile when he gets excited where he clenches his teeth together & kinda shakes his head. At the progressive dinner lastnight, he did it when Mason came up to say Hi & Mason said, "I think Parker is going to explode!"

Thurs. Nov. 16,2007
Rob & Julie babysat Parker for me lastnight & when I picked him up, they told me this:
Parker was playing happily and out of NOWHERE, Parker got a really sad face & started crying.(Rob explained it as...it seemed like all of the sudden, he realized that his mom was gone & he was so sad) When he started crying, Mason said, "I think he just realized he was in a messy house & he is used to being in a clean house."
HAHA! I thought it was funny! Especially because my house is MUCH MESSIER than Rob & Julie's!

Wed. Nov. 7th, 2007
Lastnight I was babysitting Rob & Julie's kids & was putting Mason & Tanner to bed and Mason DID NOT want to go to bed. He had kept begging me for 5 more minutes, over and over(even after I already let him stay up "5 more minutes" about 3 different times. Well, I told him to climb into bed & he said, "Actually Staci, my dad whispered in my ear before they left & he said that I could stay up as late as I wanted!" I said that I didn't think so, because I think he would have told me, since I was the babysitter. He said, "No, he didn't tell you, because he wanted it to be a secret!" :)

Sat. Oct. 27, 2007
I was driving to my parent's house with Mason & Parker in the backseat & Mason said, "When I get older, I want to marry Parker." I said, "Well, you have to marry a girl. Boys marry girls & girls marry boys." He said, "Well...its just that Parker is the Cutest!" I couldn't argue him on that one:)

Friday, Oct. 26, 2007
I was watching Rob & Julie's kids & Tanner started singing Wheels on the Bus, so I thought I would join in. I started singing & he covered his ears & said "My ears hurt!"
Ouch...I didn't know that I was THAT bad of a singer:)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Lastnight we were at Rob & Julie's for dinner & without us knowing it, Tanner went in the playroom & dumped EVERY single tub of toys out in to one big pile in the playroom. Mason went in the playroom & came out & said, "Mom, you should see what your son did!" Then...after we went and saw the big mess, Mason turned to Craig(Julie's brother who lives with them) and said, "Oh man Craig! You are going to have a fun time cleaning that up!"

October 2, 2007
The nurse called from school saying that Mason went to the bathroom in his pants. Julie went down with new clothes & walked in the nurse's office & Mason's best friend was also there for wetting his pants. Mason said, "Daniel wet his pants, his mom is going to be really disappointed with him, but I told him that my mom would forgive me." Julie told Mason, "Well, I had to come down here & I'm also disappointed that you wet your pants." Mason got a real sad look on his face & said, "I guess you only forgive me a little bit." Julie replied that she was disappointed, but still forgives him.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tonight Mason saw Parker crawl a little bit & got SOOO excited and said, "He's ALIVE!"
(He has been waiting for months for Parker to be old enough to do something other than just sit there & tonight he got to see him crawl for the 1st time) so cute!

My sister Kylie made me a memory book of Parker for my b-day and we were looking through it and Mason saw a picture of Parker in the sand at the beach from our family reunion we took this summer and said, "Oh Staci! Now you have a memory of the reunion!"---as he pointed to one pic in the middle of a large group of pics. I don't know how he picked out that pic so quickly, but he was so happy that I had that memory forever now:)

Monday, Sept. 3, 2007

Mason heard me say "Dumb" & said, "Ummm...You said a BAD word!" I said that I was really sorry & that I shouldn't have said that & I hope that he would forgive me. My brother Tate walked in as Mason was saying that I said a bad word & said, "What did she say Mason?" Mason quickly replied, "The 'D' word" Tate looked shocked & asked, "You said the 'D' word?" I said Yes & that I didn't mean it & I shouldn't have said it. My brother Tate, still astounded that I would say the "D" word in front of Mason kept asking if I really said it. Finally I said, "I said dumb" Tate let out a sigh & said Oh. Mason said, "You said it again!" Tate asked Mason if they should wash my mouth out with soap. Mason said, "No, I forgive her."
(thanks Mason! I will try and clean up my language from now on!)

Friday, August 10, 2007
It is time to add another nephew to the "things that make me laugh":

Matt & I were babysitting Rob & Julie's kiddos & my 2 year old nephew Tanner said, "Parka is my cousin" I said, Yep! Then he said, "You my cousin?" I said, "No- I am your aunt." He looked at me, tilted his head, smiled, looked at me questioningly and said in the CUTEST voice, "You a BUG?!?"

Friday, Aug 24th, 2007

Mason had been limping all week & his mom was starting to get concerned & told him that she needed to take him to the doctor to take a look at his leg. He did NOT want to go to the doctor & said, "My foot is feeling better, it was just a little tired because I didn't take a nap"

Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Mason was playing at cousin Powell's house while Rob & Kylie were working on some stuff for his store that is opening soon. Mason & Powell were not playing very nice together & Mason came in and said, "Dad, Powell hit me". Rob replied, "I guess it is time for us to go home." Mason said, "No! No Dad! He didn't really hit me, I was just kidding!"(because he didn't want to leave)

Saturday, July 28, 2007
Rob & Julie (Mason's parents) were at my cousin Cali's reception & Cali came up to them & was telling them how funny Mason is. She said that when they all went to the ranch awhile ago & Mason saw her and her fiance Steve kissing...Mason said, "My mom and dad used to do that, but they don't do that anymore because they are old!"

June 19, 2007
I was driving Mason home & he was telling me about what he was going to dream about that night:) He asked me what Parker was going to dream about. I said, "I don't know, why don't you ask him." So he did & then he told me, "Parker is going to dream about smiling a lot, and drinking milk, and taking naps."

July 2, 2007 When everyone was leaving Grandma & Grandpa's house tonight, Mason told Powell-- "Powell you can come to my house and I will give you my FD3 (instead of MP3) player."
Saturday, June 30, 2007
I picked Mason up to go swimming with me and Parker at my parents & on the way over he started talking about people who are old. I asked if Grandma was old. He said no. I asked if Grandpa was old. He said no, but said, "His belly is getting big" He said, "Grandpa is a big eater." I told Mason that he is a big eater because he is a big boy. He quickly replied, "Staci! Grandpa is not a BOY! He is a Grandpa!"

Thurs. June 28th, 2007
Rob & Julie invited us over Thursday for dinner, because they were feeding the missionaries. Mason told the missionaries that he was from South America, that he has shaken hands with a great white shark, that he has a pet cobra & more. Then he leaned over to his mom and dad and kinda whispered, "I want the missionaries to think my life is AMAZING!"

Sunday, June 24, 2007
Mason was watching Animal Planet and was watching 2 Wilda Beast chase eachother all throughout the woods. Well one finally caught up the other & jumped on the other one and started....ummm...mating:) Mason said, "Look Mom! He's giving him a boost!"

Tues June 5th, 2007
We were coloring & Mason was so proud of how good he can color & was telling me how when he was younger he would scribble, but now he colors good. Mason said, "But, sometimes I still scribble, but when I am 6 I am going to know better." I said, "Mason, you already know better." He said, "No, sometimes I am mean." I said, "Why are you mean Mason?" He sighed & said, "Stace-I just don't want to talk about it right now."

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
Mason was playing at my house & I was making Emily an apron for her pioneer trek this week & Mason said, "Emily is going to dance with a lot of boys on the pioneer trek...and she better not fall in love or I will be seriously mad at her." I said, "Why will you be mad?" He replied, "Because if she falls in love, she won't play with me anymore." Later on, he said, "I just want to go on the trek, so I can keep an eye on her." (Sidenote: Emily is only 14!---so she won't be falling in love anytime soon we hope!)

Sunday, June 3rd
We went to Mia's baby blessing & Mason came and sat by me & was So excited to show me his shark books that he brought with him. He would turn each page one at a time & point to each shark & wait for me to look before he would turn the page. Well, I kept looking around, waiting for the rest of my family members to come & seeing who was in their ward that I knew. Mason had to keep tapping my arm to get my attention to look at the book. After a few times of doing that, he finally said, "Staci...stop getting distracted, remember why we are here...to look at books."

Friday, June 1st
We were at a friend's graduation party & all of my family was there. An older lady commented on how well-behaved all the kids were being. My sister Kylie said, "Except for Powell...he didn't have a nap today." Another lady said, "Don't worry, he's 2, it comes with the age." Mason quickly turned to me & said, "Not me, I'm 5, not 2... I know better."

June 1st, 2007
Mason drove with us over to my cousin's graduation party and he was telling me all about his dream the night before & how this giant squid was about to eat him, but then the squid blew up right before he ate Mason. Then he said, "And my 2nd dream..." and he told us another imaginative dream he had & then he said, "My 3rd dream..." and again, another crazy dream! Well...he started to say, "And my 4th dream..." and I said, "Wow, Mason...how many dreams did you have last night?" He said, in a completely serious voice, "Ten Hundred & Twenty Five." (Later I told his dad the story & he said, that Ten Hundred & Twenty Five is his new favorite number...he asks if he can stay up for Ten Hundred & Twenty Five minutes and always wants Ten Hundred and Twenty Five things...)

Saturday, May 26th, 2007
Mason was at the cabin with the whole family for Memorial Day weekend and he said, "Hey, when is July 5th? When we can see all the fireworks & stuff?"

May 24, 2007
Mason finished going to the bathroom at my grandma & grandpa's house & said, "Good News Dad! I don't have to flush...my pee was clear!"

May 22, 2007
Mason got in trouble at school for scratching some kids on the playground. His teacher explained to his mom that he would have to sit out recess the next day. On the way home from school Mason said, "Mom, I don't want to go to school tomorrow." His mom said, "Why not Mason?" Mason said, "Well...you will find out soon enough. Then he started to cry & said, "Remember when I try and be nice to all the kids? I don't know how to keep my hands to myself."

May 18, 2007
Mason said, "Hey Staci, when is the sun sick?" I said, "I don't know, when?" He replied, "When it doesn't feel so hot."

May 13, 2007

Mason went home from church & said, "Dad, it's Matt's birthday & we've got to get him a present!" His dad said, "Sorry Mason, we didn't buy him anything, we don't have anything to give him." Mason quickly replied, "Dad, where there is a will...there is a toy!"

November 2006
A little girl had been flirting with Mason at school, holding his hand and telling secrets to eachother. His teacher let Julie know so that she could talk to Mason about it. On the way home from school one day, Mason said, "When Savannah tells me she likes me, it makes me feel happy." Then he screamed and covered his eyes & said, "It makes me want to like her back." Julie said, "Mason, you're too young to like girls." Mason replied, "No I'm not mom...look at me...I'm a man!"

May 13, 2007
Mason went up to my mom & said, "Grandma, do you ever get mad at me?" My mom said, "What do you think Mason?" He said, "No, I don't think so."

April 22, 2007
Matt & I were driving Mason over to my mom's house for Sunday dinner & Mason said, "Staci, was Parker so scared of the dust storm yesterday?" I said, "Yes, he sure was." Then Mason said, "Matt, were you scared?" I replied, "Yes, he was so scared he cried." Matt quietly agreed, "Yeah, I cried because I had washed the cars in the morning & now they are all dirty" Mason replied, "Oh Matt, maybe next time I come over I will bring you some diapers...since you cry like a little baby."

April 15, 2007
Mason was sitting on the toilet at Grandma's house and Rob(his dad) went in to check on him & he was singing as he sat there. When he saw his dad, Mason said, "Hey dad, do you think I should try out for American Idol?"

March 2006
He was in the car and looked over and saw a girl in the car next to him and said, "I think I'm in love."

May 14, 2006
Talking to Jeff(on his mission in Argentina) on Mother's Day:
"Jeff...if the ride is more fly, you must buy."

May 13, 2006(day before Mother's Day)
Went to look at the lobsters at Walmart with his dad:
As they were leaving to walk away, Mason turned back and said, "Happy Mothers Day Lobsters...oh & tell your moms!"

March 2006
Mason said, "Matt, do we have to leave this earth someday?" Matt said, "Yes." Mason replied, "Man, I'm gonna miss this place!"

May 16th, 2006
Mason asked grandma if he could spend the night. She said, "Yes". He said, "Okay, but this time I don't want to go to the dump where there is cactus. Memember I got it in my bum and it hurt really bad?"

December 2005
Matt & I were leaving my parent's house and Mason ran outside to give us a hug and said, "Hey guys, let me know if there is anything I can do for you!"

Mason went to Walmart with his dad & saw a barbie doll at the entrance & wanted to play with it. Rob said, "Barbies are for girls Mason" Mason replied, "Fine, I'm a girl then." The rest of the time they were shopping, Mason yelled throughout the store..."I AM A GIRL! I AM A GIRL!"

Allen Family

Monday, June 1, 2015

Parker the Author

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